


Night on the South West Turret

by heffermonkey



Series: South West Turret Tales [1]
Category: Robin Hood (BBC 2006)
Genre: Comedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 13:00:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/639173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heffermonkey/pseuds/heffermonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gary and Neville guard the South West Turret of Nottingham.  It is there they gossip about the curious goings on of Nottingham and it's occupants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night on the South West Turret

Gary climbed the last few stairs and stepped out onto the turret. Night had set in and the moon was a crescent overhead, stars twinkling in the clear night sky.

“Neville,” he said with a nod to the guard already standing there looking bored.

“Gary,” Neville replied with a half smile. “Quiet night."

“It's always quiet up here,” Gary said before tossing Neville a gourd. “Brought us something to warm us up. So no excitement?”

“Is there ever?” Neville sighed, sliding down the wall to sit. 

Their turret rarely saw much action, being positioned at the back of the castle. If anyone attacked, then it was usually elsewhere and they were the last to hear about it.

“Did you hear what happened in the great hall today?” Gary said, sitting alongside Neville and taking a drink from the gourd.

“No, what?” Neville asked, always interested in a bit of guards gossip.

“Well, I was talking to Cyril, who had been to the Tripp with Henry who'd been on guard duty with Frank who'd just finished a stint of duty on the gates with Ted. Ted heard it from Alice from the kitchens that one of the serving girls had seen Guy and that sword toting ninja getting close in the great hall.”

Neville gave a nod before furrowing his brow. “What's a ninja?”

Gary gave a shrug, “I dunno, I'm just telling you what I heard.”

“Well what else did you hear?”

“Well the girl first saw the guy swinging his swords about in the great hall putting on a show for the Sheriff. Then he gets on his knees and kisses the Sheriff's ring.”

“What he do that for?”

“I dunno, anyway, Vaysey says to Gisbourne 'why don't you ever kiss my ring' and Guy just looks pissed. Then the girl later saw Guy and this ninja-”

“Carter?” 

“Yeah that's his name, well they are in the great hall and Guy, well you know how he gets, all leery and jealous and he starts staring down this Carter. And then they gets all close like, Guy backs the guy against the table and she didn't hear much of what they were saying at first. But you know what they are like these lot, don't hear the servants, don't see them hiding in the shadows so she moves around to listen closer.”

“Nosy little bugger ain't she?” Neville said with a chuckle.

Gary gave a little sniff at the constant interruptions but with a nudge he continued. “So she hides behind one of the screens and this Carter he's looking at Guy with the kind of look the whores down at the Tripp give as soon as you cross it's threshold. You've seen him, all blonde hair and blue, come hither eyes, and Guy can never resist that kind of look.”

“He got bored with his new boy then?”

“Do you wanna hear this story or not?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Neville said, pursing his lips and shifting slightly, his arse getting cold from the stone floor where he sat.

“So Guy's leaning down over him and Carter, he slides his hand round Guy's arse and gives it a squeeze and asks him if he wants him to kiss his ring.”

Neville, having taken a swig of wine mid sentence, started spluttering at the thought and chuckled as he wiped his mouth. “Guy don't wear rings.”

“I don't think he was talking about rings you wear on your fingers.”

“So what happened?” Neville pressed, “What did Guy say?”

“Apparently he just gave a smile, you know, like he's cornered his prey and is enjoying the moment before he strikes.”

“And did he strike?” 

“Don't think he got a chance, the girl said the two of them were about to start going at it right there on the banquet table only Vaysey starts yelling for Guy and you know what he's like when he starts yelling for people.”

The two fell silent for a time, the moon casting dim shadows around them.

“Gary?”

“Yeah Nev?”

“Want me to kiss your ring?”

“Greedy bugger, you always get to kiss my ring.” Gary chuckled before Neville planted a sloppy kiss on him.

That was the fun of guarding the south west turret, there was nobody to spy on you there.


End file.
